Recent studies show that family estrangements are on the rise. While many adult children are likely just “sowing wild oats”—a rite of passage for previous generations—some are finding freedom in their newfound agency. We are seeing a cultural shift where children are recasting their childhood as trauma, insisting they need to protect themselves from what they view as harmful parenting.
To understand this, we have to look at the language we use. The word “radicalized” barely existed before the year 2000. It burst onto the scene to describe the Islamic State (ISIS), which presented an extreme narrative on Western culture and empowered followers to take extreme measures. Since then, the word’s usage has grown exponentially, reaching its peak in 2020 amid the Black Lives Matter movement and the social unrest of the pandemic. Now, it exists in the daily canon of our vocabulary.
Whatever the context, the mechanism of radicalization is the same: it convinces people that the “other” is dangerous and that extreme separation is the only solution. Today, that radicalization has come home.
The New Social Taboo
Estrangement from family members is a radical idea. Historically, the family unit was the bedrock of survival and society. In fact, according to recent research published in Frontiers in Sociology, estrangement is still considered a “social taboo,” carrying a heavy stigma because it violates the deep-seated expectation that family bonds are permanent and unconditional (Nica, 2025).
So, why is it becoming commonplace? Because the world has become a polarizing environment.
From politics to religion, from sports to the use of recreational drugs, we have developed extreme views. Families can barely talk about the weather anymore without someone becoming offended. But the reality today is the same reality that we saw in 2000: Radicalization leads to polarization. When you view your parents not just as people with different opinions, but as “unsafe” or “toxic,” the only logical step is to cut ties.
The Ideological Grand Canyon
Young people are embracing ideas and ideologies that are vastly more non-traditional than their parents’. The data supports this widening gap.
According to Barna, the leading church pollster, the rate at which young people are leaving the faith of their parents is staggering. Barna’s research indicates that nearly two-thirds (64%) of young adults with a Christian background drop out of church during their 20s. Furthermore, the Pew Research Center highlights that the ideological gap between Gen Z and Boomers on issues regarding gender, race, and the role of government is wider than it has been in decades.
This isn’t just a disagreement on style; it is a disagreement on reality.
What Feeds the Radicalization?
If the family isn’t teaching these radical breaks, who is? The answer is the device in our pockets.
Social media algorithms are designed to feed us content that elicits a strong emotional response. Research confirms that social platforms create “echo chambers” that reinforce bias and demonize opposing views. A young person questioning their identity or their parents’ authority is instantly funneled toward extreme groups.
Whether it is LGBTQ+ activism, female empowerment movements, or pro-life/pro-choice extremists, the message is uniform: You are right, they are wrong, and you must cut out anyone who doesn’t validate you completely.
These platforms monetize division. They replace the nuance of face-time relationships with the binary “block” or “follow” logic of the internet.
The Lost Art of Compromise
What is the answer? We need to look back to move forward.
The art of compromise was a hallmark of politics and society in the past. “Reaching across the aisle” was not just virtue signaling; it was a reality that adults strove to achieve. The peace talks of past decades were marked with leaders finding the middle ground. That seems to be an impossibility anymore. We hear the screaming every night on the news, and now we see it in our living rooms. Everyone seems to be screaming louder and louder, trying to force acceptance rather than earning respect.
A Biblical Perspective
The Bible offers a counter-narrative to this culture of cutting ties. The Apostle Paul tells us in Romans 12:18, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”
Paul was a realist. He knew that we cannot expect those who do not know the truth—whether they are “pagans” in the first century or secular activists in the twenty-first—to live out Christian virtues. They are operating under a different worldview and are not in a position to be judged by the standards of the Church (1 Corinthians 5:12).
So, if the Bible says we shouldn’t expect the world to act like the church, why does everyone feel so judged?
Perhaps it isn’t the parents’ judgment that is driving the estrangement. Maybe, just maybe, it is their own guilt? When we walk away from truth, the presence of those who stand firm feels like an indictment, even if they never say a word.
References
- Barna Group. (2019). Faith for Exiles: 5 Ways for a New Generation to Follow Jesus in Digital Babylon.
- Nica, A. (2025). From family estrangement to empowered exits: new emotional developments. Frontiers in Sociology. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC12504279/
- Pew Research Center. (2020). The Generational Gap in American Politics.